Do you know the emperor?

Did you know that every season has a corresponding flavor? Summer’s flavor is bitter. It enters the channel of the Heart and can be used in herbal medicine and food to resolve imbalances.

The Heart is the yin organ of the Fire Element. It is referred to as the Emperor as it has dominion over many facets of our psychology and physiology.

Summer is the time of year when the disposition of the Heart should naturally be light and pleasant. As the Emperor, the Heart regulates many functions.  We have previously covered how it rules the Shen or spirit. If the Shen is disturbed, it is made manifest in a variety of ways, some subtle, some overt.

Because the tongue is the sprout of the Heart, it governs speech.  Distorted speech is a tell-tale sign of a Heart Shen imbalance. Just as Fire emits warmth, a warm personality and friendliness can be a reflection of a balanced Heart.  Due to the Heart’s governance of speech, it also plays a major role in interpersonal communication skills. Rudeness, sharp language, harsh words, entitlement and disrespectfulness may in fact be a consequence of upbringing, culture or society, but it is also a dysfunction of the energy of the Heart.  

A common question patients have been asking about my travels is, how did people respond to me being American?Everyone, everywhere we went, was super friendly, warm and welcoming.  We were met with openness and kindness at every turn. 

We were mindful to always be courteous, friendly, and conscientious of the fact that we were “guests” in someone else’s “home”.  I told my daughters, who at some point started quarreling while waiting online for a ferry, “girls! please demonstrate what courteous young ladies from the US look like. Let’s not be the rude American stereotype.” 

Yes, it’s true, Americans have a reputation of being rude. 

Upon our arrival at La Zagara, a very quaint family-run inn along the Amalfi coast, our hosts Salvatore and Nilda greeted us with fresh-squeezed lemonade from their orchard. Under the canopy of century-old lemon trees, we made small talk and were given the lay of the land. We were charmed, to say the least. The next morning over breakfast, Salvatore commented on how incredibly friendly we were. We inquired as to whether Americans, in general, were polite. “Not really” he said, “in fact they were often rude.” 

It left me wondering, how did we as a society become this way?

Scrolling the socials just yesterday, I came across a quote from Helen Mirren:  “Women have got to stop being polite. If I ever had children, which I don’t, the first thing I’d teach a girl of mine is the words “f-off”. (That is her grammatical error, btw, not mine).

To be honest, I cringe.  

That’s the first thing she would teach her child? Really? Maybe this is part of the problem…

I see it in real life and in viral videos online. Rude, entitled, disrespectful.  The worst offenders caught on video in parking lots, coffee shops, airports, airplanes and on the street. It’s really disheartening.

Culture and society aside; what effect do these attitudes and words have on our health? 

I don’t know for sure, but it makes sense that as we harden our hearts, minds, and language toward others, it pushes us out of biological and psychological balance.  

It seems there is a crisis of the Heart. 

Maybe we can begin to heal our Hearts by simply being kind. 

Reconnecting the heart spirit

In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) we can observe the relative health of the Heart and the animating spirit of the Shen through the complexion, the brightness of the eyes, the movements of the body, the vitality of the person.

What we don’t always talk about is the importance of the Heart and Shen in our ability to experience joy. The emotion of the Heart in TCM is joy. 

We feel joyful when we feel connected.  It could be a deep connection with ourselves, other humans, nature, God and to life itself.

Qi is the energy of relationship.  When two or more things have enough resonance with each other a connection is made. The Heart qi is the energy of communication, relationship and connection.

When the spirit of the Heart is intact, the mind is clear, behavior is socially appropriate, one can relate and connect with others, responses are logical, thoughtful, and the demeanor is appropriate. 

With regard to how we relate to others, when the Heart/mind is disturbed, signs include; being socially awkward, missing social cues, avoiding eye contact, difficulty with coherent speech.

In TCM, it is understood that the tongue is the sprout of the Heart.  As such, speech is governed by the Heart.  

Many people struggle in their interpersonal relationships to speak from the Heart, to say their Truth, and find the words to convey their “Heart’s desire”.   

When people have trouble finding their words to express their feelings, this points to an imbalance of  Heart qi and Shen.  To feel joy, we must be able to experience love, both giving and receiving love. Joy is the byproduct of love.   It is the reciprocity of love in our relationships, as well as the relationship with ourselves, that joy is experienced.  

When we feel loved, we feel joyful, connected, abundant, worthy, whole. When we cannot give nor receive love, we feel separate, other, disconnected, unworthy, alone.  

In order to live life filled with joy, we must begin with love.  For many people, this is easier said than done.  For those who were not properly loved and accepted unconditionally in childhood, the Heart may become self-protected, wall-off and disconnected.  The Heart and Shen are imprinted with this wound, and Heart imbalances ensue.  

Those who struggle to give and receive love, will in variably have difficulty finding true joy. 

So how do we open a Heart that is protecting itself? We must heal the wounds of our Hearts, clear the pain of our past, and reconnect the energy of relationship. 

And how do we do that? Simply by nurturing body, mind and spirit. Begin with the Self. 

Self-care of the body through behaviors that are nurturing, supportive and healthy creates a physical basis for healing the Heart.  Consider the ways in which you nurture the physical: food, water, exercise, and rest.

These are pretty basic, yet fundamental. 

• Choosing foods that are wholesome and nutritious gives us the material Qi to optimize Heart health. When we inundate the body with food and substances that are devoid of nutrition, but high in  “satisfaction” or alter the chemistry of the brain in unhealthy ways, we undermine the physical demands of the body and disrupt a healthy mind/spirit.

• Exercise and rest are foundational for optimal health.  Sacrificing either of these will leave you feeling unwell. Whether you burn the candle from both ends or neglect to move, strengthen and stretch, either will leave you feeling disconnected on some level.

• Certain activities ignite all three, body, mind and spirit. So find activities that light you up. Remember, it is connection that allows for love and joy.  

• Self-love, self-compassion, self- worth. This process can be supported through positive self-talk…remember speech is a function of the Heart.  In order to do this, we must be present in the moment and consciously aware of the dialogue in our minds and the feelings in our bodies. 

• We must be conscious in questioning the merit of negative self-talk and actively re-train the negative thought patterns to positive ones. 

Once we have taken care of Self, it is imperative we connect with the world around us.  Whether it is in relationship with other humans, connection with God or a higher power, or connection with the natural world and its inhabitants and rhythms.  

Remember, qi is the energy of relationship, and the vitality, connectedness, and health of that energy determines our ability to experience joy.  For when we recognize that we are all connected, and separation only exists in the mind, can we truly find joy and love in life.